bettywhitehouse:

the party dont start till I walk out

(Source: dywanethecockjohnson)

budvveiser:

Why do my body parts fall asleep before i do

100worms:

if you hate me….. have you considered…. that I am beautiful? think it over

snorlaxatives:

how do i tell someone i don’t care without sounding like i don’t care

(Source: snorlaxatives)

alabasterbones:

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

cyberdisgusting:

dads are either too nice or assholes there is no in between

whorecrux-harry:

“Don’t kid yourself” would be a great slogan for birth control pills

(Source: ruinmarks)

bagmilk:

*concerned white parent voice* sweetie don’t write on yourself you can get ink poisoning

dashdrive:

you know when boys do that shy little side smile that really kills me

andysambergg:

i have so much homework

what movie should i watch

(Source: samberglar)